Deja' Vu
by Girl in a White Dress
Summary: Post IOTH, Miss Parker makes a choice.


Disclaimer: They belong to Uncle Steve & Uncle Craig. I'm only playing with them for a while, but if they prefer it with me, I'm not giving them back :- p Special thanks must go to Kali for betaing and to Gemma, who told me to finish it or else!  
  
  
  
  
  
Deja' vu  
  
  
  
By Melanie-Anne  
  
  
  
15 March 2003  
  
The Centre Blue Cove, Delaware  
  
The child was well aware of the camera that watched his every move. He pretended to ignore it and turned back to the model he was building. It was a model of the Empire State Building. The old man watching through the one- way mirror smiled in satisfaction. His breathing labored because of the oxygen tank he carried everywhere with him, he turned to his companion.  
  
"Well, Sydney?" he wheezed.  
  
The psychiatrist remained silent. His thoughts were on another boy who had been given the same exercise in this same room some forty years before. Back then, Sydney had been so excited about the Pretender project and the endless possibilities that it presented. Although he'd been instructed not to, he hadn't been able to stop himself from developing a relationship with Jarod; a father-son relationship that he'd been unable to have with his own son.  
  
He hadn't heard from Jarod in over a year. After the whole Carthis incident there had been a few months where Jarod had seemed to be waiting for something.  
  
Or someone.  
  
And then he'd just disappeared.  
  
Since the first time Jarod had escaped Sydney had wondered why he hadn't simply cut all his ties and moved on. He had always had the ability to hide completely and only his constant teases and gifts for Miss Parker had enabled the Centre to track him. Because Jarod had never let go, both Sydney and Parker had thought that he never would. So his decision that it was finally time to move on had come as a complete surprise to both of them. Sydney felt as though he had lost a son. Parker.well, she felt his absence on a deeper level than she would admit to.  
  
The day before he'd said goodbye, he had asked her a question. It was the question that had been on his mind since the island, the question he'd only asked her once before. She had said no then, and her answer had remained the same. Jarod had smiled sadly and gently brushed his fingertips down the side of her face. There had been another question, but he had been too afraid to ask it.  
  
Why not?  
  
She had shifted closer to him and gently pressed her lips to his. What had begun that first day when she'd held her hand to the glass in the SIM lab and had almost reached its boiling point on Carthis was finally brought to its culmination.  
  
The next morning she woke up alone.  
  
What had happened that night had remained a secret. If she had told anyone then she would have been signing her death wish. She owed it to her brother - the little boy who now sat building a model of the Empire State Building - to stay alive. With one of her only friends gone, and yes, she did consider Jarod a friend, she had poured all of her devotion onto her brother. Sydney had been held at a distance; Parker did not want him to blame her for Jarod's leaving. She felt guilty enough for the both of them. Broots had left too. He'd done what Mr. Parker never could and had placed his daughter's needs first. They lived in San Diego now and had a dog. Sydney kept in contact and every now and then Parker would casually enquire about how he and Debbie were doing.  
  
Things had certainly changed since the three of them had first been assigned to look for Jarod. Parker had started smoking again and drank more, sometimes as early as breakfast, just to get through the day. She refused to acknowledge Raines as her biological father and stayed out of her twin's way as much as possible.  
  
On this particular day she went to visit her little brother, as she did every day, and found that he was not in his room. Her mother whispering inside her head, she ran to the SIM lab, her heels clicking on the tiled floor.  
  
Sydney and Raines looked up when she burst into the observation room.  
  
"Miss Parker," Sydney said, then looked back to the child.  
  
Parker was struck with the feeling that all was not as it should be and she stepped towards the glass, her eyes on the boy. Suddenly she was ten years old again, her hand against the glass. The child looked up at the mirror and smiled. It seemed as though he was looking straight at her. She took a step backwards, her hand flying to her mouth in shock.  
  
"Who is he?" she demanded.  
  
"Come now, don't tell me you don't recognize your own brother," Raines said.  
  
"Is he?" Parker asked. There was no trace of her 'father' in him, nothing of Bridget, not even a resemblance to Raines.  
  
But she recognized his eyes.  
  
Big, chocolaty-brown eyes that haunted her dreams. Dark, tousled hair so similar to that of-  
  
"What have you done, Raines?"  
  
"Miss Parker, the Pretender project is no longer your concern."  
  
Just then, the boy finished the model and stood up. When it was clear that no one was coming to see him, he stepped up to the glass and started banging on it.  
  
"He-ey! I'm finished!"  
  
Parker had seen the DSA's of Jarod's first day at the Centre. She felt an eerie sense of deja' vu.  
  
Sydney stepped into the lab to congratulate the boy. He smiled up at the older man and Parker felt tears pricking her eyes.  
  
How could she not have seen it before? He had his father's smile.  
  
"Who is he?" she asked again.  
  
"He belongs to the Centre," Raines said. "That is all that matters".  
  
"Did you have a soul to begin with? Or did you sell it to the highest bidder?" she snapped.  
  
Parker stepped into the lab, holding out her arms to the boy who ran towards her and hugged her.  
  
"Hello, Kyle."  
  
"Parker!"  
  
"What have you been doing?"  
  
"Not much. But look what I built." He took her hand and pulled her towards the centre of the room. "See?"  
  
She smiled and ruffled her hair. "That's great."  
  
Her mother spoke up again. He was still so much a child, how could she leave him here, knowing what she knew? How could she condemn him to a life she despised?  
  
She walked him back to his room and then returned to her office. Another old friend, someone else she hadn't seen much of lately, was waiting for her.  
  
"Hello, Angelo."  
  
He didn't say anything, but just looked at her with those blue eyes that said so much on their own. She nodded slowly.  
  
"Will you help me?"  
  
Angelo smiled. "Good heart," he said. "Mother's heart."  
  
Under the guise of working late, Parker stayed behind long after everyone else was gone. When she eventually made her way down to her car, she paused at the door to Sydney's office, wondering if she should leave a note explaining everything. Knowing he'd understand, she decided not to.  
  
Angelo and Kyle were waiting for her in the shadows. She had no idea how he had managed to get the child out of his room. Nobody knew the Centre better than Angelo. Half asleep, Kyle clambered into the back seat of the car.  
  
"Don't you want to come home with us, Angelo?" Parker asked.  
  
"Angelo is home," he replied.  
  
"Goodbye." Parker hugged him. "And thank you."  
  
"Take care," he murmured, then melted back into the shadows.  
  
Parker drove home as fast as she could without endangering herself or her precious cargo. She wasn't sure what her plan of action was but the knowledge that she'd taken the first step was good enough for now.  
  
Even if it was a year too late.  
  
Throwing clothes into a bag, she jumped in fright when a voice came from the corner of her bedroom.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
Not daring to hope that she wasn't imagining it, she chose to ignore it.  
  
"Parker? What's wrong?"  
  
"What's wrong?" She looked up into the face she saw every time she closed her eyes. "You left."  
  
"But.but you made up your mind. I-"  
  
"Why'd you come back tonight? Huh, Jarod? What do you want?"  
  
He looked away. "Ethan said something bad was going to happen. He said the voices were telling him all sorts of horrible things."  
  
"Really? Well, you don't have to save me. I'm leaving."  
  
"Now? You're leaving now? Why not then?" Why not for me?  
  
"Parker?" a young voice called from downstairs.  
  
"I'm coming!" she called back. To Jarod, she said, "That's why."  
  
"Your brother?" he asked.  
  
At that, a look of sadness crossed her features. "I'm not actually sure how he's related to me anymore. But.Raines had him in the SIM lab today. I don't want what happened to you to happen all over again."  
  
"You did care, then." He sounded surprised and she stopped what she was doing to look at him.  
  
"I've always cared. You know that."  
  
He stepped closer. "So, that night.it.I.meant something to you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"So you didn't stay because you didn't care? You stayed for your brother?"  
  
"I thought you knew that."  
  
He shook his head, then tentatively reached out and touched her arm. "I missed you so much."  
  
She couldn't speak. He was real. He was there, in her bedroom, touching her. Almost in slow motion, he bent his head to hers. Deja' vu. It was raining now, as it had rained that last night.  
  
That first night.  
  
Parker didn't want to wake up alone anymore.  
  
Perhaps it was because it had been so long, or because she had missed it so much, but she was sure that he tasted the same. She burrowed into his chest, his arms warm around her. He smelled the same, too.  
  
"Parker, who's that?"  
  
Given his history, it was odd that instead of being afraid of the stranger, Kyle was simply curious.  
  
"Umm, this is Jarod. I told you about him once, remember?"  
  
"Yes. Hello," he said politely. "I'm Kyle."  
  
Jarod looked at him in shock. "K-Kyle?"  
  
Kyle nodded. "Parker said it was the name of a great man she knew. Did you know him too?"  
  
Jarod could only nod.  
  
She had called the boy Kyle. To his knowledge she had only known one Kyle. His brother. And she had never before called him great. He wondered if she would ever cease to amaze him.  
  
"We have to hurry," Kyle said. "They're coming."  
  
Not stopping to argue, Parker picked up her bag and took Kyle's hand. She looked at Jarod.  
  
"Where will you go?" he asked.  
  
"I don't know yet."  
  
"Come with me?"  
  
Twice he'd asked, and twice she'd refused.  
  
She smiled. They had never really needed words to communicate. He took the bag from her and followed them down the stairs.  
  
When the sweepers arrived with a furious Lyle, they found nothing. The house had been left unlocked but even in their haste the runaways had left no clues. The tire tracks had been washed away by the rain that seemed to mock Lyle as it poured down, drenching him.  
  
In his mind, he imagined that he heard his sister laughing. It was strange, because he had never heard her laughing in real life.  
  
But he could also hear weeping. And for the first time in his life he felt the stirrings of his conscience.  
  
~*~  
  
The End?  
  
Feedback will be cherished forever & ever! melani_anne@yahoo.com 


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